Genie is a girl I used to work with.
She went through a divorce and lost a lot of weight due to anxiety and pain.
As she recovered she got heavy again.
And she is happy.
Sometimes you just feel depleted.
Depletion is not depression.
Depression may feel like being at the bottom of a glass looking outward and upward.
Depletion is the fluid in the glass.
It can feel like a state of nothingness, weakness, stillness, but not sadness.
Floating on itself.
When I hear people rationalize spending money on services based upon the concept of “what’s your time worth”, I get a little defensive.
In a previous life I was also someone who would value ALL of my time based upon my HOURLY WAGES at my job. It is easy to make this argument, but it doesn’t really hold water.
Let’s say that I make $50 per hour as an IT Contractor in a job and I spend $50 per week to have my lawn serviced. I might say to myself, that I don’t want to spend an hour this weekend mowing my lawn and would rather have that time to go to the gym. I have just traded 1 hour of gym time for $50. I do recognize that I also get a manicured lawn included. I have told myself that time at the gym is worth one hour of working my IT job. While going to the gym is highly enjoyable and beneficial to my health, it is hard to argue that an hour of gym time is worth paying $50.
The fallacy of the “what’s your time worth?” argument is based on the presumption that all time value is equal, and I do not believe that it is. In the case of the IT worker, the time is worth $50 on Monday through Friday between 9AM and 5PM. Without a side hustle or other way to make money, the time outside of those hours might be worth $0 per hour.
So to say that I am worth $50 per hour for 24 hours per day in making my choices may lead me to make a poor decision.
Think about this the next time you are using the time/money/value reasoning.
Also recognize that mowing the lawn is also a pretty good workout in and of itself!
My son twisted his knee about 6 weeks ago.
He tried to stay active but it kept feeling worse.
After about a week, we took him to an orthopedist to look him over.
An MRI was ordered and a secondary referral was made for a rheumatologist to rule out some other symptoms that could have been caused by something like Lyme Disease. Blood tests were taken and more doctors appointments were scheduled.
None of the symptoms were clear cut signs of typical injuries but all roads led us to Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis. JIA is fancy terminology for joint swelling with no known cause. It seems like it might be a type of auto immune disease, but many kids outgrow it. It can be treated with anti-inflamatories, steroids, and if there is no improvement there are oral therapies which carry some risk of compromised immune systems.
As a layperson, I was calm with the diagnosis. I have an attitude of “don’t worry until it is time to worry”. My wife on the other hand who is a pediatrician has been running through every differential diagnosis and extrapolating each outcome in her mind. It has been very exhausting for her to find balance between mother and physician. I feel happier being less informed and taking the treating physicians words at face value.
As we were wrapping our most recent appointment for our son, my wife was on her electronic medical records system for her practice. She noticed a new note for a patient with some unexplained weight loss. As differential diagnoses were being worked through, the path led them to a mass in the chest. She was heartbroken. At a time when she was so upset about her own son, a patient family just learned that their world was turned upside down.
Her thoughts went to the family of the boy. She knew what they were in for. The fear of the unknown and the upcoming pain and discomfort made her reconsider our personal situation a bit.
While she was crestfallen that her patient was ill, she also was able to take a moment to reflect upon our own son and recognize that while things can always be better, they can also be worse.
My wife drives a leased car because she is able to get favorable tax treatment as a business owner.
One of the tires seems to have a slow leak and is holding air, but not enought for safe travel. Another tire has a plug in it so I was anticipating replacing at least two of the tires. This is painful on a leased car, but safety is important to me.
Being the frugal cheapskate that I am, I started to scour the internet for tire prices.
But then I had a change of heart. I decided to call the dealership and have the tire looked at there. Getting regular maintenance on a car at the dealership is not typically a wise financial decision. Dealerships have historically high prices. But having a leased car, I was hoping that I might get a discount because the car would have at least 2 new tires when we turn it in 6 months from now.
When I dropped the car off I was very surprised by the service advisor’s advice. He said I could replace one tire even though the car was AWD. He also said it would be worth trying to fix the tire. I never expected the dealership to offer tire repair at all!. The best part was that if the tire was able to be repaired, the cost would only be $25.
Sure this may be a few bucks more than the local garage, but it was very fair and reasonable pricing.
I write this post from the comfort of the wifi enabled waiting room as I enjoy a free coffee and muffin. I know the extra cost of the repair pays for these free items, but the experience is worth it.
Regardless the outcome of my tire problems, I feel feel good that my decision to give the dealership a chance resulted in a positive experience. I feel like I got great advice that balanced vehicle performance, cost, and safety. I suppose that all of the competition in the auto repair space has encouraged dealerships to reel in price and become viable options for regular consumers like me.
My son is on a year round swim team. He practices 4-5 times per week at the local facility.
The pool is part of a larger gym and has a parking lot that can hold about 200 cars.
Within the parking lot there are driveways and lanes for travel. These lanes are restricted as fire lanes, and clearly marked no parking.
When I arrive to pick him up, there may only be 20 cars in the lot so it is pretty easy to find me. I’ll walk up to meet him or I’ll text him, “left side near back”. He’s never gotten lost.
Then there are about 20% of the parents to whom the “no parking” signs seemingly don’t apply. They do what is easiest for them and their children, damn the rest.
They park on both sides of the fire lanes, typically right in front of the signs. The cars block traffic and make driving to exit problematic and unsafe.
I don’t know the reasons that they flout the rules and disregard safety and common decency.
The funny thing I have noticed about the parking situation is that is seems to have a socio-economic appearance to it.
The Volkswagens, Hondas, Fords are all rule followers and park in the assigned spots in the lot.
The Range Rovers, Audi, and BMW all typically the ones parking illegally.
Is this a significant observation?
I think yes.
Why do “wealthy” feel entitled to do what they will?
Are they so self absorbed that it doesn’t even register that they putting their needs above others? Or is it more sinister that they simply don’t care?
Regardless of the outcome, I make a point to teach my son and anyone else in the carpool what it means to be a citizen of the world. Don’t put yourself on a pedestal and understand that society works better when we respect each other.
I am back from a two week technology hiatus.
I am not a Luddite and I appreciate and enjoy technology, but I started feeling anxious every time I passed a reminder of how much technology has infiltrated my life.
It all started when my wife bought a couple of new kitchen gadgets around Christmas time.
The addition of a digital George Foreman Grill and a fancy new Instapot triggered me.
I already had a nice Foreman grill and a trusty crock pot. They were rudimentary and they worked. They didn’t require instructions and Youtube videos to learn how to use them. You plugged them in and came back when the food was ready.
The new kitchen gear felt like a combination of gadetry and science project.
I was getting frustrated by it.
I had a tangle of charging wires on my kitchen counter.
I had a PC in the living room.
Both kids had Chromebooks on their bedroom desks.
My wife’s work laptop was on the bedroom dresser.
The whole family was typically head down in their iPhones.
Even my wife’s reading was on Kindle or iPad at bedtime.
Wireless headphones needed charging.
Battery backup chargers were needed when tech device batteries ran out.
Lightning cables and USB cables were scattered around the house.
I have no expectation of trying to reel everyone in at the moment. I can only work on my own head.
I sold an old iPad and Kindle.
I deleted some social media apps from my phone.
I bought some paper books to read.
I do 5 pushups every time I feel that reflex to check my phone for no reason at all.
I watch a lot less news and don’t feel the need to try to be an expert on transient topics. As @altucher says, today’s news is the rough draft of history.
It is hard to believe how much technology has become a part of our daily lives. But like most good things, moderation is key for me.
When I started to feel overwhelmed by it all I know it was time to step back and take a look at my own habits and patterns.
As an aspiring minimalist, I strive for less.
This includes technology devices as well as technology usage.
In 2018 I need to become more mindful, present, and focused on meaningful activities.
This process is the first step in that direction.